one breath

with his altruism,
i sometimes ask myself,
“how can i feel like
i am holding his breath
in my own hands,
yet, the tighter my hand
wrap him,
the faster he is slipping?”

how i start to live
for him, i cannot recall.
did he ever thought of
living for me?
i guess not,
for i am as lucid as
he is hoping me to be.

i dreamt of tracing
every slope of his shoulders,
touching every line,
holding him close
close enough
there would be no air between us…

but then again,
i woke up,
empty..
broken..
how can he offer himself
to others unselfishly
while i have been
asking him
to spare some
breath for me?