disappointed

 

 for three word wednesday words are enemy, shatter, vague

how could i not foresee
that my inner devil
will eventually betray me?

how could i not sense
that some lost enemy
was hiding behind
the shadow of that
satisfied curtain
i’ve been flaunting for years?

the shattered glass
of one empty heart…
the peircing shards
of one frustrated mind…
the broken promise
of one worthy friend…
the essentially pointless guilt
of one child within…

vague definition
of one missed vagabond…
vivid reminiscence
of the irony of being lost
while searching for
my own way back…

how could i fail them?
how could i let my feelings
betray me?
how could i let
this unwanted soul
take over my then purity?

i think…not

have i touched you
in ways i never thought
be enough to make
your then perfectly complex
world to a mere
simple and boring haven?

have the sight of
my scarred part
made you want to hold me
own me...to protect me?
how sweet...

have my unwillingness
to open
challenge you...
made you stoop without
thinking twice for
fear of losing a part
of me you thought
you can own?

hearing me saying nothing
scared you?
do you really expect me
to push you away?
do you really believe
even for a minute or so
that i will let you
slip away?

you love me?
so you said...

do i trust you enough
to hold on to every word you say?
i think not.

agoraphobic incubus

for  easystreet prompts 

im not here...
but i can see you...
i know how much
you want to touch me..
just to feel my existence...

i can see the way
you hold her tight...
i can see the fear
and the longing in
those lovely eyes...

you opened the door...
to let me inside...
yet on the back of your mind
you know i wont give in.

you reach for something
you cannot see..
you never will hear...
yet the silence
and the patience
you have...
the fear and the need
sleep is tearing you apart...

you waited...
yet you are scared...
you said you want it to stop,
but the light in your
eyes suggest otherwise...

you want me...
as much as i need you...

but the openess in your part
make me move back
one..two.. three step
away from you...

questions…

for  3WW  words are balance, dictate and wander

how can i be able to deny
something that's been
with me for as long as
my memory can dictate
that i have inside?

too late to turn around...
too late to change
and try to balance
my sanity.

i may have wander...
tried looking for answer
to the question
as to how long will
i keep my true identity
and go on with my
effective facade?

how will i be able
to handle this sudden
realization
of wanting another Eve
to fill me...
to complete me...

my heart is oh so ready
so ready to embrace
my long lost self...
yet the society's
holding me back...

should i blame them?
must i turn to stars?
do i have to question
myself again?

im caught between
the rush of telling the
world of my love for another
Eve...
and the fear of death
as i let my new world sink in.