another set of unanswerable questions…

how can a simple touch

would mean more than

what you can say?

 

how can you feel being home

just by spending a few hours,

few minutes with someone?

 

how can you want more time

or wishing for time to be still

and wanting to spend it

around a single person?

 

how can you ask for

something you know

you can never take care of

without hurting anybody else?

 

how is it possible to be complete

yet unsatisfied?

 

how is it possible to look at

a person without getting tired,

without wanting to blink?

 

how can you love a person so much

but not having enough courage

to let go of everything else you are

holding just

to hold that person?

 

how can you say you

really are in love

without doing anything to prove

whatever you are feeling?

why bother?

i am yet to find my ever shy muse…

i am yet to find courage to woo her again…

i am trapped with my so called ego to try to call her back.

make amends and such.

 

i think, i have consumed enough vodka

that dried not just my throat

but my courage as well.

 

i think, I’ve spent enough

time alone that I’ve forgotten

how is it working, singing

inside of my head

to lure my muse back.

 

but then again,

she’s part of me

and i know, time will come

we’ll be reunited…

 

call me lazy

call me mean…

i rather not bother

to call for her name once again.

 

 

 

sorry babe..

babe…
i wish i can easily
tell you
i want to be yours…
yours alone…
but we both know
that will be a lie…

honey…
as much as i want
to jump into
this lovely ride
i cannot
for the life of me
make myself be as
committed as you
want me to be…

babe…
you know
i loved you
i still do
but it would mean
another heartbreak
another tear
another chip
on my shoulder
if we, or at least i
will pursue this.

i guess you’re right
i wont be ready
not just because
i am so damn busy
minding other rides
but because i am
way too scared to
stick around…

i am sorry babe
that’s just not my thing…

if only…

in our own special time
another perfect world
i’ll be finding  myself
being wrapped around
by your arms…

another continuous dream
unaltered reality
i’ll be seeing you every
single morning
i’ll look at your face
every single night…

another chocolate coated life
i’ll be holding your hand
without fear
without having to look
behind my back…
without any regret…

if only
this world is as perfect
as we both want it to be..
then i wouldn’t have to
worry a thing
about people i might
disappoint along the way…

for the time being
allow me to say
how much i love you…
and hope against hope
it will be enough…

read then understand

forgive me

if i cannot grasp

the essence of

being in a safer

place other than

where i am…

i know i am

floating

drifting

with no clear

destination

without solid

path

nor track.

i know that.

understand that

i am yet

to find a reason

to move on..

or stop…